Cullen Fourth of July
by Annalisa B. Crawford
Summary: It's Independence Day in America, and the Cullen's are going to celebrate! What happens? Two very, very dangerous words... Emmett, Fireworks. What happens as they celebrate on the 4th? Hilarity ensues! Emmett POV, One-shot Updated 8.21.09
1. Cullen Fourth of July

Last Update: 8/21/09

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight. Just lots and lots and lots of fireworks!!!! BOOM BOOM!!!**

**Happy 4th of July everybody! I have been visiting family this week, and we've been playing with *FIREWORKS!* I have been meaning to make a one-shot, and I just had an inspiration…**

**Here's a quick list of the mentioned fireworks, just incase you aren't familiar (I know my California folks won't have a clue):**

**Punks: They look like inscence sticks/sparklers, but they just burn REALLY slow, and hold a small ember at the tip. You keep a couple around to light your fireworks with, so you're not using up matches or gas lighters. Really handy.**

**Snakes: Little charcoal-like discs that when lit, the carbon burns and they expand into long, thin sticks (but are very fragile. Once lit, they break apart when touched).**

**Smoke Bombs: Little balls that look like cherry bombs. When lit, they emit a long trail of smoke. The color of the smoke typically matches that of the ball.**

**Pops: They have lots of different names. Basically they are these little bits of paper with a tiny tiny bit of explosive inside. When thrown on the ground, they make a little popping noise. Definitely the most harmless thing you can get.**

**Party Poppers: You can get these at a party supply store. They are in the shape of a bottle, and when you pull the little string at the top, they go "pop" like a champagne bottle and streamers fly out. There are little cardboard toys resembling a gun that do the same thing.**

**Bottle Rockets: Little things in the shape of a rocket. When lit, they go super high in the air and then explode.**

**Fountains: The most commonly found, in my opinion. It is a general category. They are fireworks you place on the ground, and they shoot sparks a few feet into the air. They are so common because they are the best you can legally get without a permit.**

**Aerials: This is what you see at amusement parks and grand celebrations. They go up really really high in the air and go boom.**

**Okay, so this is really, really, really cheesy. And probably not one of my best works… But I kind of rushed this, and I was inspired! I just HAD to do this.**

**BTW I can see why everyone complains about how hard it is to get into Emmett's head. This was SO hard. Don't hurt me if it doesn't see accurate.**

**Also, this is post BD, while Renesmee is still rather young. The first 4th after her birth.**

**Enjoy!**

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EMMETT POV

I knew she had been planning something. I recognize, too much, that gleam in her eyes. Our little pixie is always up to no good, so I always seem to see it.

"Okay, family! I need to tell you all something!"

We all made our way down to the living room, trying to look curious. Her smile was so wide, it must have wrapped around her head twice!

"Do you all know what today is?" she asked.

Edward laughed. "So THIS is why I've been hearing the Star Spangled Banner all day, in ten different languages?"

"Shh! Don't ruin it." She swept her eyes around the room. "Guess."

We looked around at each other. "It's Saturday?" I offered.

Alice glared at me. "No, duh, Emmett." I shrugged. "What's the DATE?" She specified.

Carlisle pondered. "The 4th?"

"Of…" Alice was urging him on.

"Oh! It's the Fourth of July!" Renesmee said, clapping her hands together.

"Thanks, Nessie. SO, I have something planned!" She reached under the table and pulled out a big cardboard box. "I have red, white, and blue outfits for everybody!"

All the boys groaned, Nessie squealed, Bella laughed at Edward's stone-cold face, Esme laughed too, and my Rose looked smug. Hmm, she was a partner in crime, then… I'll have to talk to her about that later.

"Is that it, Alice? You dragged us all down here so you could humiliate us with picking our wardrobe?" Jasper looked skeptical as he took his stack.

"No, of course not!" She rolled her eyes and giggled. "I went shopping around, and I bought FIREWORKS!"

…

_A few minutes later, out by the garage_

I always wondered what it would be like to play with fireworks. The last time I tried to, Carlisle took them away from me. Why? He told me it what I was doing wasn't safe. But I mean, what's wrong with trying to make a jet pack out of bottle rockets and firecrackers?

"One, Emmett, is that firecrackers are illegal. Two, it's stupid to think a few of those could possibly lift you. Three… well, we don't want to be that close to fire. You should know that much."

Jeez, Edward. Always in my head.

"Is that what he's thinking about? I suppose I should have thought of that last episode," Alice pondered. "But I don't see anything drastic happening. Of course, Jake's not helping."

He shot her a cold look. She laughed.

"Okay, are you all ready to see what I bought?" Her eyes were so lit up, they were glittering.

"YEAH!" I boomed.

"Great. One, two, three…" She pulled the garage door up.

I swear, my eyes must have fallen out of my sockets. The Porsche had been moved out for the occasion, and everywhere… literally, on every singe inch of space… there were pyrotechnics. Pops, fountains, punks, smoke bombs… I heard the angels sing. I immediately started my plan. Ooh, SPARKLERS! I LOOOVE sparklers! One in each hand, yeah! Oooooh, what about a bunch in each hand…

"Emmett, stop," Edward muttered under his breath.

"Fine," I groaned. Rosalie patted my hand, and held it. Probably just restraining me.

I thought of some more things to do with sparklers, and Alice snapped her head up. "No, Emmett! You may NOT burn your Independence Day outfit with a handful of sparklers and punks!" Aww, party pooper. Jasper snickered, enjoying the idea.

"I'm going to need help carrying all of this. Do you think the baseball field is a good place?" Nods of approval. "Alright, let's go. Emmett, how about you stay here." I opened my mouth to protest, but Alice quickly pulled a little box out of a brown bag. "Here, play with some snakes."

"YAY! Snakes! They're magic! Snakes are my favorite!" I love these! They're little black things that look like candy (but they don't taste like candies, which make me sad) but when you light them up, they expand really really long like a tube and look like snakes! Plus, they stain the driveway, so I can make words and pictures and they stay forever!

"And here's a couple party poppers." She tossed me a handful.

I grinned. These were great to sneak up right behind people with, and pop them. It doesn't work on Edward, though… maybe I can get Bella to do it for me.

"She wouldn't dare," he called over his shoulder, chuckling.

At that, they all were off and out of sight. I immediately opened up the first box of snakes and dumped out the contents. The first four rolls I took apart, but left the last one in its little paper slip. Hee hee, I knew exactly what to do! I laid each little disc right next to each other, touching at the sides. I arranged them so they where in a spiral shape. Then, I took a can of gasoline from in the garage, and sprinkled it along the little dots.

I found a lighter and set it on fire.

The flame shot across the dots and ignited whatever made them look cool. I watched my army of snakes being hatched.

"LEFT! LEFT! LEFT RIGHT LEFT!" I shouted. "CHARGE, MEN! ATAAACK!"

"FIRE THE CANNONS!" I popped two party poppers.

"Emmett?" I heard my angel behind me.

I looked up from my hunched over position over the snakes.

"Please tell me you're not talking to the snakes."

I decided it was best not to answer. I stood up with the best posture I could muster, and saluted her.

She rolled her eyes and gave me a peck on the cheek. "Okay, my big child. Let's go."

I grinned. It was almost dark, since Alice waited until close to the end of the day to tell us about her plan.

…

When we got there, everything was set up. Fireworks were all laid out, from smallest to largest. Alice came up and waved a sheet of paper in front of me.

"What's that?" I asked her, puzzled.

"It's our permit!" Bella giggled. "It means we can shoot the really big ones into the sky."

Everyone laughed as my eyes became big as saucers. "Wooo hooo!" I yelped, and started jumping up and down.

"While we're waiting for dusk," Carlisle offered, "why don't you set off some smoke bombs?"

"Yes!"

"Me, too!" called Renesmee.

"I'd like to as well," admitted Jake.

I grabbed a few bags and tossed them to Ness and Jake, and grabbed a lit punk for each of us.

They used them in such a classic, boring way. They would light them, set them down, and watch the smoke pour out. That's no fun! I took mine, lit them, and once they started smoking, picked them up and threw them out into the field. I would throw a couple at a time. It looked like a war zone! I shouted BOOM BOOM every time.

One time I took the smoke bomb and put it in an empty box we had from stuff. Once it was lit I leaned over it and whispered, "Boil, boil, toil and trouble." That made Esme laugh.

I was having so much fun making smoke that I hadn't realized it was dark, until Alice prompted me to get out some bottle rockets.

"Oh, wait… never mind. I better get them," she admitted.

"Why?" I begged. She just ignored me.

Edward took them from her and stuck one in the ground.

"We need to light a fountain, so we can use the tube as a base," he called from partway down the field.

"How about killer bees?" Jasper asked.

I went to a paper bag and grabbed one. "Yes! My favorite!"

Nobody seemed to object, so I trotted down with the firework to Edward.

"You want to light it?" he asked.

"Yep!"

I knelt down and held the punk to the fuse. Once it started, we took several steps back.

WHEEE! WHEEE! WHEEE! WHEEE! WHEEE! All the whistles went of, one after the other, and I clapped my hands.

After it was over, Edward took the leftover tube, stuck it hard in the ground, and slid the stick of the first bottle rocket into it.

"You can light this one, too," he told me.

Trying not to look fire-crazed and sadistic, I touched the fuse with my punk.

FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… POP.

"Again! Do we have more?" I begged.

"Oh, do we have more." Alice answered sarcastically, tossing me a whole box full.

Under Edward's close supervision, they let me light one after another.

FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… POP.

FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… POP.

FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… CRACK.

FWOOOOOSHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… POP.

I didn't want to use them all up right away, so I stopped and called over to Alice. "What else do we have?"

She looked around. "What does everyone want to see next?"

"I'd like to see another fountain. What about that Pot-O-Gold over there?"

Alice grabbed the mentioned fountain and tossed it to Edward and me. While Edward lit the Pot-O-Gold, I ran back to stand with the rest of the family.

After we watched several different kinds of fountains, Alice poked me in the arm and handed me another. She had a smirk wrinkling her face.

"What does this one do?" I asked.

"You'll see."

I ran down by Edward and lit it. It cracked and popped like bacon, but nothing was happening. Just before I got sulky, there was a profound POOF and something shot into the sky. It was a paratrooper!

"Whoop! Whoop! Dang, that is SO COOL!" I hollered. I watched it fall gently to the ground, and caught the little guy.

"Hey, I know what to do with him!"

Alice bent over laughing, soon followed by Edward's sniggering.

"What's he going to do?" My niece asked. "Alice?"

"You'll see," was all she could manage.

I ran back up, grabbed the bottle rockets, and took them to the launching site. With quick fingers I wrapped the string from the parachute around the rocket, attaching the little guy to the rocket. I lit the fuse.

I wanted him to go flying up like before, but he decided not to. The rocket spun in the air, erratically moving around, sparks flying. The girls screamed and the guys tried to catch it.

After a couple of seconds, he landed on the ground in front of me. The tissue paper parachute was charred and burning. I picked it up, ripping off the parachute, and started again. This time, I totally wrapped the string around him like a prisoner and attached him to another rocket. I lit it.

I wanted him to go flying out into outer space. Wouldn't that be cool? We all watched the fuse burn, and WHOOOOOOOOSH went my little guy. He went so fast, and really really far! I chased him. "G.I. Joe! Where you going?" He landed somewhere in the grass. I searched and searched, until I found the pink stick from the back end of the rocket. I picked it up, and examined my little soldier.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed. I ran as fast as I could back to my family. "Mr. Joe! He's been decapitated!"

...

I made a little grave for my Mr. Joe, and lit a new punk which I had stuck in the ground next to it.

"Mr. Joe, RIP" I wrote in the dirt.

"C'mon, Emmett. Let's light some sparklers!" I heard Jasper offer.

"OOOH! Sparklers! I LOOOOVE Sparklers! They're my favorite!"

He handed me one.

I gave him a questioning look. "One?"

"Give him two, Jasper," Alice prompted.

I shrugged. One in each hand isn't too bad. I grabbed two lit ones from Jasper and ran, full tilt, into the field. I twirled them around, wrote my name, and spun in circles. I ran around pointing it at trees, saying "bippity boppity boo!"

Just as they ran out, I made it back to my family. Another idea popped into my head. "Can I have a bunch more?"

"Sure," Alice said, as she handed me a whole package. Her eyes showed that she knew what I as up to, and they cautioned me. I just shrugged.

I grabbed another empty box and a little pocket knife used to open boxes. Holding the stick above the box, I carefully scraped all the burny stuff off. Stick after stick I did so, while everyone watched Edward's pyro-show.

"Hey, Edward, can I do one?" I called when I had scraped all the sticks.

I knew he was only asking for the benefit of the rest. "Sure, which one?"

"This one!" I set the box down and lit it.

Very quickly, the contents of my box turned into a big bonfire fireball. Everyone oohed and aahed, and I heard the squeal of delight from Nessie.

"Wow uncle Em, that was cool!"

"Glad you liked it."

Bella chuckled. "I'm impressed. That was very original."

"Yeah, never would have thought that your destruction would be so… pretty," said Alice.

My eyes wondered over the field. "Look! Look! Oh oh oh! Lightning bugs!!!"

Everyone laughed with amusement as I dashed over to them. I kept clapping my hands in a cup around the lights, but couldn't catch any.

"Stand still for a second," Alice offered. "That will make them come closer."

So I stood still. I was twitching, trying so hard not to let my hand reach out. But finally, they closed in around me. There were so many now! I swept my hand across the air around my face, and I could feel that I caught several.

"Hey! Guys! I caught some!" I trotted over to my little niece. "Hold out your hand."

She smiled and held it out. "Do they tickle?"

"Nope. Not at all." I slipped a few down into her hand.

"Ooh! Pretty!" She examined them carefully as I let mine go.

"Bye, little guys."

"Bye bye buggies!"

We watched them fly off.

"Who wants to see some _big_ fireworks now?" Edward asked, holding up a monstrous something or other.

"Yeah! They're my favorite!" I boomed.

"Emmett, you say they are ALL your favorite," Alice groaned. I just shrugged.

"Okay, this one's going to be an aerial," Edward warned. "Be prepared!"

He set it down, lit it real quick, and made a mad dash back to us. A deep throaty boom came from the tube, followed by a deep whoosh, and we looked up for the resulting explosion. BAM! went a bright array of colors.

"Again! Again!" chanted Renesmee.

Her dad followed her wishes (and ours), lighting one after another, after another, after another.

It was getting very late, and Jacob and Nessie were getting tired. We packed up our remaining fireworks and headed home.

"Hey," I called out, pulling out a little box. "We forgot to use the pops!"

Alice laughed. "That's okay. We can play with them tomorrow."

I knew, right then, that I had a prank up my sleeve. I could feel it coming. But I didn't want Alice to know, 'cause I could feel that it had something to do with her.

"Hey Jake," I said, wandering over to Jacob, who was carrying Nessie. "How's the little one?" I committed myself to standing next to him, and not leaving his side for a long time. Ah, I thought, I can think about my plan now.

"Um, she's out," he whispered, a little confused by my sudden interest.

"Ah," was all I could say.

We made our way home, and tossed the leftover fireworks outside the front door.

"I'll take care of these," Alice said. "I want to pull my car in, so I'll have to find a place for them." She hopped off around to the back of the house, out of sight. Bella took Nessie, and went with Edward to the cottage. The rest went inside.

Before he could get too far, my idea snapped into place. "Wait, Jake," I called out. He turned around and came back to stand by me.

"Yeah? What's up?" He knew he was going to learn something.

"Can you hang around me for a bit? I need your cover."

"Um… Sure?"

I grabbed a box of pops and knelt down by the Porsche. Carefully, I opened the box, and placed about ten right under each of the four tires of the car.

"Oh." Now Jacob got it.

After placing ten under each tire, I trailed a couple out in front of each pile. So, when she pulls out, there will be a series of pops.

"Great Jake, thanks."

"No prob."

I heard a fairy little pitter-patter. "Oh, snap! Here she comes!" I grabbed Jacob and dashed into some nearby bushes.

Alice, not paying attention to anything but the keys in her hands, hopped into the car. She started the engine, and I drooled at the gentle purr. I saw her shift into drive and slowly creep forward.

Pop, PoP, POP! CRACK!

"AAAAAAHHHH! Oh crap! What happened?! My BABY!" The door flew open, and within a millisecond she was standing beside her car, looking underneath.

"What the…" She picked up a diffused pop. "EMMETT!!!!!!!!!!!"

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**Review lovelies! Happy 4th!**


	2. Vote

**Hi everyone,**

**As much work as this particular one-shot took, it was really fun! I just put out a poll on my profile asking whether or not you would like to see more seasonal-sort stories (i.e. Thanksgiving, Easter...). Please, if you may be so kind, quick head over and tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!**

**AnnaBCraw**


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